The Fisherman

15 Oct

Once upon a time, a fisherman went to the river to go fishing.

He got there very early in the morning on the first day of spring, went to his usual spot on the river–a nice, quiet place with a comfortable stump and a place to rest upon and relax.

After a while, the fisherman started to rest his eyes, and after what seemed like a few minutes, he heard a rustle in the woods behind him,

“Who’s there?” Said the fisherman coyly.  “Oh, it’s just me, Porcupine,” said the Porcupine as he meandered out of the brush.  “What are you doing here Mr. Porcupine?”  asked the fisherman, “Well I could definitely ask you the same thing,” said the Porcupine, insulted that his motives would have been questioned in such a way.

“I’m out fishing today,” replied the fisherman with a sound of joy in his voice, “would you like to join me for a bit?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” said the Porcupine, and so they sat by the fisherman’s tree and talked quietly, as not to disturb the fish.

About an hour later, after much talk and merriment, the Porcupine got up, bid the fisherman a good day, and went on his way back into the forest.  No sooner had the Porcupine left that the fisherman felt a tug on his line, very excited at the prospect of his first catch of the day, he excitedly reeled in his prize…only to find that it was a boot.

Slightly downcast, but realizing the probability of boots being in this part of the river (considering BootLocker was right up the river), the fisherman silently reset his line and settled back into his stump.

As soon as he started to nod off again, the fisherman heard a rustle in the woods.

“Who’s there?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s just me, the Fox” coolly replied the Fox as he Trotted out of the woods.  “Oh, Mr. Fox, what are you doing out here?” asked the fisherman, quite annoyed that his furry friends would disturb him so.  “Well, I could ask you the same thing,” said the Fox, with his pride hurt and his self-esteem plummeting.

“Oh, I’m just out fishing today,” the fisherman told the Fox, who’s ears perked up at the name of the illustrious activity, “would you like to join me for a moment?”

“Would I ever!” eagerly replied the Fox, and with that, the Fox and the fisherman sat down together to have a spot of lunch and a sip of tea.

Hours later, the Fox quietly got up, bid the fisherman a good day, and went back into the woods, lightly trotting the way Foxes do.

No sooner had the Fox left when the fisherman felt a tug on his line.  Obviously less excited than his previous tug, the fisherman was nonetheless excited about his prospects of catching a prize winning fish.  He hurriedly reeled in his line and to his dismay, the fisherman pulled out not a boot from BootLocker, but a large, smelly tire, and when he noticed that the tire didn’t even have tread on it, he thought to himself ‘well this isn’t safe, not safe at all! someone could have slid off the road and into the river,’.

More downcast than he had been all day, the fisherman threw back the tire, silently recast his line and settled back down on his

Now, the tea that the fisherman and the Fox had partaken of had run its course, if you will, and the fisherman realized that he had moments to find a suitable place to relieve himself.

As he tromped loudly through the woods, the fisherman heard a rustle in the brush.

“Who’s there?” he nervously replied, hoping that no one would see him in such a state.

“Oh, it is just me, the Bear” replied the giant carnivore as he trampled through the forest.

“What are you doing here?” asked the fisherman, “well I could ask the same of you!” replied the Bear, heartily smacking the fisherman on the back, knocking him off balance and into the forest floor.
“Would I ever!” joyfully replied the Bear, “fishing is one of my favorite things to do!””I happen to be out fishing today,” said the fisherman, “would you like to join me for a bit?”

And so the Bear and the fisherman walked back to the fisherman’s spot, and with a loud thump! sat down together to enjoy some quality time fishing.

After a quiet and remarkably unsuccessful round of fishing, the Bear got up, bid the fisherman a hearty goodbye and was on his way.

Well, as you can guess, as soon as the Bear had left, the fisherman felt a tug on his line.


Much less excited than he had been before, the fisherman, without expecting much (possibly a body), reeled in his line, and to his utter and total surprise, there was the largest, most beautiful fish the fisherman had ever laid eyes on, and he was ecstatic.


“Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!”  the fisherman whoo-hooed, “I caught a fish! I caught a fish!” and he jumped around with excitement and a form of triumph one can only compare to that of the victory of the Knights of the Hospital of Saint John against the Ottoman Turks on the island of Malta in 1565.

With his knife in hand, the fisherman sat down on his stump to clean the

fish, and as he began, he heard a rustle in the woods,

“Who’s there?” the fisherman asked, carefree, but he got no reply, for it was the Bear, who was charging him…for his fish.

The moral of the story?  Don’t shout so much in the woods, bears will attack


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